The re-birth of my blog
I’m excited to share the loving journey as a first time Mother and why I put photography on hold for 3 years.
On May 29th 2014, opposite the Big Ben at St.Thomas’s Hospital, our son, Levi, was born and that bundle of cuteness never slept, he napped. 20 minutes at most! Hardly enough time to eat, shower, and drink half a cup of hot tea. I never expected the sleepless nights, the exhaustion, the memory loss, the sore boobs, the weight gain, the worry but mostly, the unconditional love. For the first time in eight years I was distant and detached from the man I married but more in love than ever before.
For Seumas, a first time Dad, and after a month off work, he kissed us goodbye for the USA. Levi was 3 weeks old, and I cried! Thankfully, my mother was happy to join us in England for the remainder of our stay. She raised four of her own and Levi is the fourth grandchild, not her first rodeo! Seumas is a yachtsman and we’re often apart several months a year. That particular year the yacht, Bequia, was based in Newport, Rhode Island but our little family was re-united six weeks later, home, in Antigua. The absence of Seumas early on was a difficult and an emotional journey for us both. As a first time mother, you are tremendously lost! On a good day It took me two hours to get out of the house, and some days I never left. Levi knew exactly when the car was packed, with all the bags, to kindly deliver an explosive nappy. 2-1/2 years later, nothing has changed. Charming little fella! Seumas had his fair share too but time away meant missing the precious moments, even if it entailed explosive nappies, he loves being a DAD.
As time vanished, and the sleepless nights continued I struggled with the thought of full time work but felt guilty! Guilty that I no longer financially contributed to our lifestyle. I wanted to be a full time mum but equally had the urge to pursue career aspirations, and to be creative again. There weren’t enough hours in the day to do both. Whether a stay at home Mum or a working Mum you don’t ever get a break from parenting, it isn’t a 9 to 5 job. I didn’t want to feel guilty leaving my newborn either. As I bonded with Levi, our time together was precious and irreplaceable. Being a stay at home mum meant I nurtured my newborn to a toddler, and why should I miss out on such an exhausting but rewarding gift! Sadly, Seumas was often at sea and it was important for Levi to feel the full time presence of a parent and not a nanny, or a day care. I couldn’t have done this without the support of my husband!!
Kids are amazing gifts and experiencing motherhood is a once in a lifetime opportunity I was blessed with. Yes, Seumas and I decided that we are over the moon with one.
During my hiatus from wedding photography, we accompanied Seumas on travels ( via sea or air ) to Newport, Maine, New York, North Carolina, San Diego, Vermont, Boston, Block Island, Connecticut, Nantucket, Martha’s Vineyard, Cuba, Santo Domingo, St.Kitts, St.Barths, Guadeloupe, and Barbados with camera in hand. At 2-1/2 months old I recorded our newborns first sail into the log book. Currently, Levi has about 1000 miles at sea, a frequent flyer miles account, two passports and the third is optional.
Being a Mum has taught me important life lessons. Mainly, that finding a balance is vital and what works for our family will not work for you and your family. Our lifestyle is individual to us but we are all in it together. Three years later, Levi is in pre-school and I’m ecstatic to find photography again. I now work part time and have accepted a handful of wedding clients. My dream though, is to pursue personal projects that will push my boundaries to deliver strong, visual, storytelling images. Something that hasn’t been done before in the Eastern Caribbean.
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